i've lost 7 lbs. (133.5 lbs.)

i've not been in the best of moods. i haven't done any of the paperwork i'm supposed to have completed for work. and that's a big deal. i haven't even started it. i can't bring myself to care. i feel disorganized, disoriented, unhinged and unhappy. i complain all the time. i'm going to start looking for places to hide during my lunch and planning hours.i don't want to be around anyone.i'm looking for a new job. 

i need something new in my life.
i need something other than work to get me through this year; a hobby. a fling.
this is eating me alive.
 

While we search for the antidote or the medicine to cure us, the new, that which can only be found in the unknown, we must continue to turn to sex, books, and travel, even knowing they will lead us into the abyss, which, as it happens, is the only place we can find the cure
                                                                                                                                             - Roberto Bolaño

Reminder:

WVWC Homecoming: October 16-18



i may try and attend this year.

having short hair has been slightly liberating for me. it's a new feeling; having complete control over my own head. i love each bump, wave, and curl and am constantly feeling around for a small strand to uncoil only to feel it curl right back up. i feel a new strand of outgoing behaviors and confidence. even some of the things i wear have a bit more edge. i truly, truly love this.

                                    i really actually like jump suits but i don't know if i could pull one off.

                                                       [now you see it..]

my hair is doing everything in its powers to stay.

and i'm going to miss it truly, but i need a change.
 

where do our wild things go
when we learn to adjust?

hair products that will be needed :

                infusium 23 mositurologie ( leave in treatment)

                   miss jessie's curly pudding

others:
a.) wide-tooth/ rat tail comb
b.) deep conditioner

reminder:
a.) twist hair after washing/ deep conditioning.

i can only hope that when i cut my hair before leaving for Toronto  it ( and i) will look this beautiful.

summer to-do's:
a.) study for praxis (3 times a week for 1 month: july)
b.) take reading in the content area I / reading in the content area II class through staff development (@ mcdonough high school; two weeks long; june 18th-july 1st)
c.) clean entire household
d.) purchase a new washer + dryer ( we got the old one fixed)
e.) buy bathing suit
f.) go to miami (july 9th-12th)
g.) go to toronto (july 16th-22nd)
h.) get books/ records out of storage (july/ august?)
i.) lose 15-17 lbs ( update from july 26, 2009: i lost 4!)
j.) visit the dermatologist/ get face under control. (date set: september 13th)

summer reading:
a.) life of pi: yann martel
b.) rules for radicals: saul d. alinsky
c.) underground: haruki murakami
d.) rabbit, run: john updike
e.) the fall: albert camus
f.) happy death: albert camus
g.) the white tiger: arivind adiga
h.) amazons: cleo birdwell (pseudonym of don delillo)
i.) their eyes were watching god: zora neale hurston
j.) 2666: roberto bolano & natasha wimmer
k.) a genius in the family: a intimate memoir of jaqueline du pre: hilary & piers du pre
l.) flow my tears, the policemen said: phillip k. dick
m.) the pornographer's poem: michael turner

summerlovep3
a.) musiqusoulchild: so beautiful
b.) ledisi: in the morning
c.) little brother: the way you do it
d.) quasimoto: seasons change
e.) norman blake: macon rag
f.) mos def: no hay nada mas
g.) earth, wind, and fire: can't hide love
h.) psyche origami: dead right
i.) mos def: pistola
j.) alexi murdoch: all of my days
k.) the black crowes: wiser time (unplugged)
l.) neil young: harvest moon
m.) rolling stones: monkey man
n.) neil young cinnamon girl
o.) little brother: so fabulous
p.) melody gardot: our love is easy
q.) gomez: california
r.) wilco: ashes of american flags
s.) john coltrane: naima
t.) bob dylan: meet me in the morning
u.) velvet underground: oh! sweet nuthin'
v.) maxwell: this woman's work (unplugged)
w.) animal collective: no more runnin'
x.) animal collective: my girls
y.) the stylistics: people make the world go round

possible car option:
2008 or 2009 hyundai sonata limited (2009 pictured):

i actually ended up with this:
2009 nissan sentra FE 2.0

she must be called a muse
which is just a synonym for U S E D

                 [sundaythree > god's word vs. our word]

a.) GZA: B.I.B.L.E. (basic instructions before leaving earth)
b.) 9th wonder: call
c.) rolling stones: beast of burden
d.) shuggie otis: inspiration information
e.) roy ayers: everybody loves the sunshine
f.) fabulous souls: take me
g.) kool & the gang: summer madness
h.) 9th wonder:just for you
i.) j-dilla: believe in god

                                                                                                                            "i've heard the existence of god in your beats
                                                                                          i've felt the existence of god when you opened your mouth"

"because the irritation seems symptomatic of something deeper, something under the surface that isn't immediately apparent."

i've hit the last straw.

i'm officially done with school and co-workers and students and observations and apathy and 5:30 wake-up calls.

all i want to do is sleep for hundreds of years.
 

spend time in the mountains

grow vegetables

can fruits

and sleep again, one hundred more.