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ambitious, but we'll see what happens (in no particular order after number 4)

1.) The Eden Express: Mark Vonnegut
2.) Age of Iron: J.M. Coetzee
3.) Still Life with Woodpecker: Tom Robbins
4.) Riddley Walker: Russell Hoban
5.) Between a Rock And A Hard Place: Aron Ralston
6.) Monkey Wrench Gang: Edward Abbey
8.) Absurdistan: Gary Shteyngart
9.) Great Jones Street: Don Delillo
10.) The Bell Jar: Sylvia Plath
11.) Invitation to a Beheading: Vldmir Nabokov
12.) Amnesia: Douglas Cooper
13.) Muriella Pent: Russell Smith
14.) Volkswagon Blues: Jauques Poulin
15.) Rant: The Oral Biography of Buster Casey: Chuck Palahiuk
16.) End Zone: Don Delillo
17.) The Crying of Lot 49: Thomas Pynchon
18.) Assata: Assata Shakur
19.) Revolutionary Suicide: Huey P. Newton
20.) The Third Policeman: Flann O'Brien (Brian O'Nolan)
21.) Watership Down: Richard Adams
22.) Another Roadside Attraction: Tom Robbins
23.) Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself: A Road Trip With David Foster Wallace: David Lipsky
24.) Song of Solomon: Toni Morrison
25.) The Girl With Curious Hair: David Foster Wallace
26.) Metroland: Julian Barnes
27.) A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius: Dave Eggers
28.) The Flea Palace: Elif Shafak
29.) The Double: Jose Saramago
30.) A Confederacy of Dunces: John Kennedy Toole  (re-read)

31.) Cancer Ward: Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn 
32.) The Fools Progress: An Honest Novel: Edward Abbey (?)
33.) Wilson: Dan Clowes
34.) Derby Girl (YA Fiction): Shauna Cross
35.) I Am Charlotte Simmons: Tom Wolfe
36.) Finn: Jon Clinch
37.) The Life and Loves of a She Devil: Fay Weldon
38.) Silent World: Jacques Yves Cousteau
39.) Another Country: James Baldwin
40.) Malcolm X Speaks: Edited by George Breitman
41.) The Double: Fyodor Dostoyevsky
42.) White Teeth: Zadie Smith
43.) Haunted: Chuck Palahniuk (re-read)
44.) The Manticore: Robertson Davies
45.) The Living Sea: Jacques Yves Cousteau
46.) Towelhead: Alicia Erian
47.) The Boat: Nam Le
48.) Stuart: A Life Backwards: Alexander Masters
49.) On Beauty: Zadie Smith/ Howards End: E.M. Forster
50.) The Evolution of Bruno Littlemore: Benjamin Hale
51.) Jitterbug Perfume: Tom Robbins
52.) Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman: Richard Feynman
53.) Born on a Blue Day: Inside the Extraordinary Mind of an Autistic Savant: Daniel Tammet
54.) The World Without Us: Alan Weisman
of course, all this is subject to change

She said, "Becaws the manying and the millying its all 1 thing it dont have nothing to gether with. You look at lykens on a stoan its all them tiny manyings of it and may be each part of it myt think its sepert only we can see its all 1 thing. Thats how it is with what we are its all 1 girt big thing and divvyt up amongst the many. Its all 1 girt thing bigger nor the won and lorn and loan and oansome. Tremmering it is and feart. It puts us on like we put on our does. Some times we dont fit. Some times it cant fynd the arm hoals and it tears us a part. I dont think I took all that much noatis of it when I ben yung. Now Im old I noatis it mor. It dont realy like to put me on no mor. Every morning I can feal how its tiret of me and readying to throw me a way. Iwl tel you some thing Riddley and keap this in memberment. What ever it is we dont come naturel to it."

I said, "Lorna I dont know what you mean."

She said, "We aint a naturel part of it. We dint begin when it begun we dint begin where it begun. It ben here befor us nor I dont know what we are to it. May be weare jus only sickness and a feaver to it or boyls on the arse of it I dont know. Now lissen what Im going to tel you Riddley. It thinks us but it dont think like us. It dont think the way we think. Plus like I said befor its afeart."

                                                                                      riddley walker: russell hoban

my life feels like it's stopped.
i can't describe it any better than that.

like, this is it. and there's nothing else coming around the corner anymore.
is this normal?

i can't take it anymore.
i'm putting a perm back in my hair
and cutting it into a nice style.
it is now officially 1 year and 4 months and my hair is the EXACT same length it was when i initially chopped.
every day, i feel more and more unattractive.
and inspite of each of the natural sites i read, and the encoragement from blogs and pictures of other naturals,
i cannot continue any longer.
i guess i wasn't ready for natural hair.

1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.
4) Tally your total at the bottom.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen 
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte x
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee x+
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell x
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman x+
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens x
Running Total: 5

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy x
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare x
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien x
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger x
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
Running Total: 9

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald x
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens *
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams  *
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh *
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky *
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll x
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
Running Total: 11

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis 
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis x
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini 
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne x
Running Total: 13

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell x
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood x
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding *
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
Running Total: 15

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel x+
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons x
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth 
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens x
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley x
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon x
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Running Total: 20

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck x
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov x+
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold *
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac x+
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy x
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding *
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie *
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville x+ ( and proud to have read it!)
Running Total: 25

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath *
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray *
80 Possession - AS Byatt
Running Total: 25

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker x
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry *
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White x
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
Running Total: 27

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad x
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery x+
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams *
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole x+
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare x
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl x+
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo *
                                                                    Have Read Total: 32
                                                                    Future Read Total
: 12


Even if you’ve been discouraged about love, this is a time when you can put yourself in gear and turn this situation around. It starts with your willingness to be bolder in how you approach others. Sure, if you come on too strong it could scare some people away. But those who lack the will to handle you are best left out of your personal life. Passion is what you’re about and even though it can take you to extremes, it’s what sets you apart from others and makes you the most desirable person in the world for the right partner.

oh, is that right?

Current Music: santana- no one to depend on

a woman left lonely will soon grow tired of waiting,
she'll do crazy things, yeah, on lonely occasions.
janis joplin

i hate cover letters.

i spend hours thinking of the right thing to say and how to write a letter that says "hey pick me! i'm you're girl!" and never get picked.
simple revisions typically doesn't work for my cover letter. i always end up re-writing the whole thing. but no matter how hard i try, no matter how wonderful i think the letter is nothing i say seems right enough for someone to hire me.

it's now gotten down to the wire in terms of jobs.
i'm really going to have to go for a job as a substitute teacher. and substitute teaching in the worst. you don't have a relationship with the kids so they treat you like garbage. the teacher notes can be vague. the lesson may not be long enough to fill the period leaving the kids bored ( and boredom=talking=behavioral issues) and other teachers treat you like you're beneath them (not all).

but it'll be $89 in my pocket. and if i get picked to sub atleast 6 days that's over $500 (enough to pay my car note for the month and then some).
my insurance is $128 i think so if i sub atleast 8 times during the month i will be able to pay two out of my four bills. if i am able to substitute any more than that i should be able to pay all bills ( one bill is $60 and the other is $120) and maybe have a few left over for personal items or a treat.

i still have hope for the job with americorps/ vista.

it's friday night and i'm reading about nematodes.

nasty looking little suckers, eh?

mom's church is looking to start farming/ gardening on the additional land that they own. i'm really interested in helping.

when i was little, i used to adore all aspects of environmental science. it's a pity i couldn't hold on to that interest throughout my school years.

we had a few members of the maryland extension program come and speak to us about how we could use our lands and what resources we could use to help us get started on a CSA . Although a majority of the workshops are buisness and management centered for men and women who are already farmers, i am deeply interested in learning more about the environmental aspects and hope that i can attended classes or workshops centered around that in particular. i have even entertained signing up for an internship  through a local or out of state farms. there's a farm in virginia that starts hiring late fall for january workers.
 everything that i do now is a life opportunity. maybe this is what i needed; some time to be able to delve into a variety of different things. test my hand and figure out what fits.

i have also entertained working through americorps/vista. there is an anti-racisim organization in charleston, wv that looks like a very interesting opportunity. in this job, you help create lessons for teachers, assist in conference planning, grant/ brochure writing, and community outreach. i would really love to be a part of that. i'll finish my application on monday and turn it in the same day. applications are accepted until the 31st of october. the job will start in november.

finishing up my nematode reading then back to infinite jest ( picking up speed and getting good!)

"i don't want to work, or go out, or watch tp, or go out, or stay in, or either do anything or not do anything, i don't want anything except for the feeling to go away. but it doesn't, part of the feeling is being like willing to do anything to make it go away. understand that. anything. do you understand? it's not wanting to hurt myself it's wanting to not hurt.."
david foster wallace: infinite jest

Current Music: bon iver- skinny love
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